Things.

I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head right now.

First off, I feel like an awful person. There is this girl that I never have really liked, everytime I'm around her I want to run away as far as I can. (true story). At the beginning of this year I decided to stop talking bad about her, because as a christian, and even as a good person, I shouldn't talk about people like that. So I stopped, but my feelings for her never subsided and they are recently coming out again. Well last night after the senior showcase she asked me to hangout with her, her boyfriend, and a boy of my interest. I was weary at first because I honostly didn't want to hang out with her. Sadly enough, I said yes because the boy was coming as well. I found out that I had to drive her home (1 hour away) and I know that she's a talker.I wasn't excited. Said boy decides to ride with us.
This ride was nothing I expected.

Beneath all of that harshness and very strong personality is a person that is hurting, a person that feels rejected by God, and a person that is lonely.
She is a person in pain.
I never took the time to realize what is going on in her life, I was judgemental. So we talked about God. I wasn't selling her a product, I was expressing my love for God, and she wasn't offended.
Sure, I didn't all of a sudden think "man, I like this girl! I want to see her EVERYDAY!" No. I'm still not too fond of her, but I've come to a new realization. I've come to the realization that I need to accept her. I need to show her love despite my stubbornness.

You know what, there's a little bit of good in everyone. Some people just take some digging.
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I went to camp today. I may have just been recruited to do a wednesday night chapel service. I was talking to Mrs Wilson, the lady that usually does them, and I asked her if she was going to do them again. She says, "I guess so, would you like to?" I said sure, maybe.

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The boy of interest I mentioned earlier- well... I'm really starting to like him. Crazy I know, because I've only hung out with him 3 times... haha. Although, when we hung out last night we really hit it off well. We had fun, and you know what? It feels good to like him, I've been struggling with Joe lately and feeling upset about somethings (but that's a different story entirely). Who knows maybe something will amount from this, maybe not.

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I'm tired.
I'm tired of trying to figure things out.
I just want to be free of everything, and let things fall into place.