He is so amazing..

So for the past month or so, finances here were worse than they have ever been . I mean really bad, Mom was crying alot just thinking about trying to get by. It was really scary. I had been praying crazy nonstop for a financial blessing, my parents are amazing people, they deserve a break. I will admit there for a while I was always wondering "God, where are you? Why is this happening to us?" I feel guilty for that now. My parents have been praying about it nonstop as well.
We got our answer this weekend. Recently my Dad had put an application in at the Shipman Elevator to drive anhydrous tanks to farms just to bring in some extra cash. They called on Friday, asking him to start working part time for them. He started Saturday. I must say my Dad is really admirable. He's working midnights right now, and so worked Friday night at his job, got home at 8, then he went to work for the Elevator all day, and came home at 7:30 last night, and then went to work at 10:30. Then he worked all day today as well. I think he got a total of 10 hours of sleep this weekend. All just to provide for us. I love him.
Then someone randomly calls my Mom to ask to babysit for her 4 days a week. That's 80 extra dollars a week. That happened on Saturday. So in the span of 2 days both of my parents got another job, an extra source of income.

This past Wednesday I did a devotion at FCA at school, talking about how God has never abandoned us, and never will. It's really been on my heart lately and I was trying to realize it with everything going on at home.
Well this morning at Church the praise band played "Mighty to Save". In the song it says "My savior, he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save. Yes, he's mighty to save." Then I heard God say, "Megan, I'm here. I've never left your side." I began to cry, and everything just made sense. God answered our prayers. I pieced everything together, and i just felt this overwhelming state of peace. I couldn't help it but to cry.

God really is amazing, and even when it feels like we have hit the end of the road, when we feel like we can't go through another day on our own.. God is there. He's the one person I can count on, and I love Him so much. The sermon this morning was about Unshakable faith, and I feel like I have been tested in my beliefs lately. Today I realized, I have a faith right now that is so strong it will not be shaken.

I will stand strong.

Crossing paths with my past.

If only I had left my sisters when I meant to, I wouldn't have passed him. Why bring it up again? I haven't thought about the situation in so long, heck I haven't seen him in so long. Just when i'm starting to fully get over it. Every feeling came back. So now I've got the old feelings back, and the new feelings from a totally different situation. WHY?!

I can't make sense of anything anymore.
My mind is always racing.
I can't think.
I just want to yell.

My energy; Stolen.

You know when you get that feeling when you realize a connection with something or someone? Something you find to be awesome, and really cool. You know what that feels like. It feels good. No matter how big or small it is, you get that epiphany and you like it.

Yeah, I got that feeling earlier. It was as small as someone going to the same place as I do. I find the place significant. This place is really cool. It's my friend and I's "Secret Spot". I got pretty gosh darn excited, so I decided to tell a friend. Thinking "Oh, she'll think this is really cool"! I get the response, "Megan, you really do get too excited over the smallest things, and you really put too much meaning into them." Thanks. You're a pal.

Did you ever stop and think that maybe i get excited over small things because big great things never happen to me? Maybe I like the small things. Maybe I enjoy them.
Thanks for stealing my energy.

Infinate.

These past few days have been amazing. I went to a Copeland show with my friends on Wednesday in St. Louis. AMAZING. Just as I expected it to be. Front row and everything. The drunk girls that were trying to dance with Maranda were pretty hilarious though. Creepy, but funny.


Then today Josie and I went to Elsah, Grafton, and Alton. Even though it was freaking cold outside I got some pretty good pictures. She showed me a new spot, and it was really cool. Spraypaint all over the place. Some good, some totally pointless.

We had alot of good conversations that have got me thinking alot today. Josie told me that anyone can be free, it's just their choice to let go. It made me realize that I'm really the one holding onto things, everything else has released it's grip. It's finally time for me to be free. I've been struggling to be free all this time, when really it was only myself holding me back. I guess in my mind I was afraid to be free. I was afraid of what would happen if I couldn't hide behind the walls that I had built.


This life isn't going to just stop for me to take a breather.