Embarrasing.

Okay so when I went to the city museum a while back with my friends we all bought these awful sweaters for 1 dollar. We finally decided to get pictures in them this weekend. Let me paint this picture for you: I'm wearing this black, red, and white sweater. It has reindeer and poinsettas on it. It's so awful. I'm getting ready to walk outside to leave for Girls night... I'm not wearing a coat so this sweater is out for everyone to see. I step out and "everyone" includes 10-15 gorgeous college boys playing football across the street... Great.

Flaw.

I wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut when I get upset. I always end up seeing the other person's point of view AFTER the argument. I need to just walk away and think about what the person says before I come back with my argument.

That's going to get me into big trouble some day.

Dinner.

I just had a nice dinner with a cousin I've only met once (that I remember). She's an older woman, and she's so full of life! She's a missionary too! I asked her where her favorite place was and she says... "Oh honey, that's a hard question. I've been to over 60 nations and I can't choose."

WAIT.
BACK UP.

60 nations.


AND she had wonderful stories to tell. All I can say is that I hope I have stories to tell someday like her.

WAHOO!!!

IT'S FREE PANCAKE DAY!



YABBA DABBA DOOOOOOOO!

My body finally caved.

Stomach flu. Nuff said.
I've slept nonstop for the whole weekend.

I've been super busy the last week. I was hardly home and when I was home, I was working on Charity: Water stuff. I'm not complaining, we got a lot of stuff done last week.

I'm starting to feel less stressed about it though. The insurance battle is over, (our venturing crew council approved the fundraiser and therefore we can use their insurance to cover the event), the bands have their time slots, flyers are made (thanks Josie!), footbands are ordered, the MPR has been approved, and all volunteer slots are filled.
That's one heavy load lifted off of my shoulders.

We still have things to get done, but I'm not worried about time anymore.
God is good, am I right? :D

Now I have to:
Read the first 7 chapters of The Grapes of Wrath to get caught up for English.
Get ahold of Slaughter House 5
Write a speech for Speech 2
Write a reading response
Buy train tickets
Have my duet ready by March 6th
Help my sister with her new house.


Man, I'm hoping life slows down soon.

oh my.

Old people should not be able to use facebook.

My dad has his friend over to teach him how to play farmville....

Silence.

Sit here and enjoy the peace I offer you in my silence.
When I am silent, I am listening, NOT abandoning.


Bradley Hathaway.

You make me feel, You make me feel like I do.

I glance over at him every once in a while as he's driving. Beautiful. Even as I tell myself that we'll never be, he still gets to me. He still makes my heart beat fast and I can't control my laughter with him. Well atleast this weekend I couldn't.
I had a question running through my mind all weekend. "Have you ever thought about us?" I never gained the courage to ask him though. Other things, good things, came up instead.

Let's rewind to Thursday. I'm sitting in Pre-calc and Joe looks at me and says, "What are you doing this weekend?" I tell him nothing and he says, "Wisconsin?"
And that's how it happened. Totally random, but we decided to go for it. He called up his grandparents in Wisconsin and they say "Sure! Come on up!" We hit the road Friday after school around 5 o'clock. It's a 7 hour drive. The ride wasn't horrible though. We were singing, and messing up lyrics, and laughing at every mistake. We somehow got on the topic of Religion. I told him I still felt extremely guilty about what I had said over the summer, which was "Let's just forget about religion and not talk about it- we never see eye to eye." Mistake. Huge mistake.
So then we start talking, he tells me his actual view: There could be a God, he just doesn't know and if God shows him He's there, then he'll believe. We continue to talk not only about religion, but about life and love.

We get to his Grandparents home (they're wonderful) and then we get to bed. It was so cute, his Grandma put bags on our beds in different rooms. Mine said "Welcome Megan! (heart) Grandma Ann and Grandpa George.

The rest of the weekend consisted of:
-Me dominating TWO games of Shanghai Rummy with his family.
-Driving out on a frozen lake. DRIVING. These people are nuts. It's like a little town on this lake- probably 200 cars and 100 shacks for Ice Fishing. On top of that there was a CAR RACE going on. I was astounded.
-Seeing Dear John (yes, I made him)
-Night walks

I had a great time. It was so nice getting away for a whole weekend with one of the greatest people I know. I didn't have a care in the world.

Northern Wisconsin, eh?

I'M ROADTRIPPING!


wahooooooo!
More when I get back.
:D!

Wonderful.

I'm getting so excited! The Charity: Water show is starting to play out! For a while there I was really starting to get worried because I only had 2 people confirmed to play. As of right now 4 bands/solo artists are going to play! Ben Pursley, Britney Molloy, Wind & Sail, and Irony Rains.

Josie has been helping me out a lot, and keeping me on track. I think if it wasn't for her this wouldn't be as successful as it is turning out to be. Thanks Josie!

Anyway, it will be $10 at the door (which I don't think is that outrageous). We'll also have concessions and whatnot. There's going to be a booth that has information on the water crisis and charity: Water as well as a booth to inform people about Venturing Crew (that's the group behind this).


It's such a great feeling to be doing something. I get so excited when a band confirms or when things start working out... I have a little dance I do. It's great.
Even if only 30 people show- That's 300 dollars just for admittance. I'm not worried because more than 30 people have said they are coming. We're making flyers and advertising all over the place!
YAY!

You know what?

I'm not so scared anymore.

Its about time I start living life and quit worrying about it all the time.
Worrying doesn't get anything done. I was made to LIVE life, not sit around and plan it out.

There will be an answer.

Sunday February 8th, 2009:

I've come to realization that I'm worth accomplishing my goals.
Maybe that was what was always holding my back; I didn't believe it would truly be worth it.
But I know it is.

^That is where I was a year ago. Today I was feeling horrible (I have a cold) and every little thing was getting on my nerves. I felt like crying most of the day. People were nagging at me to get things done, people were being arrogant, just people in general I guess. I was feeling VERY pessimistic. I decided to see where I was at a year ago just for kicks. What I found was better than what I had hoped for.

This entry was just a reminder to get me back on track, just to realize that I'm still holding myself back.
I'm still holding on to things that I should let go.

This has been a constant theme in my life lately:
There WILL be an answer,
Let It Be.



Thank you self.

time never had a chance to heal my heart.

I told myself last month that I was finally over Joe, then again that was when he was with Loran and I didn't expect them to break up any time soon. Now that they are broken up I'm starting to wonder. Since I've been thinking about it, I've realized that I was in love with him.
A friend of mine has gone through the exact same feelings as I have and last night as I was telling her all of this she says, "You're still in denial, but you are on the road to acceptance".

Yes, time never had a chance to heal my heart, but I'm on my way to accepting the way things are between us and it's a good feeling.
Like I have said a million times before, he is my best friend. I'll never let feelings of more than that come between us. I'll always still love him, but I've seen what happens between him and the girls he has dated. They aren't friends anymore, or it has taken a while to get back to normal. I've never had to leave him for a short period or at all. I've stayed around because we haven't been anything more than friends.

I'd like it to stay that way.
Things are finally starting to get back to normal and I don't want to risk it.

Thankyou.

Nothing I've acquired means anything at all, because you are everything I need and you are so much more than I deserve.


Have you ever just stopped and realized everything He has done for you or how much you have been blessed with?
I'm so undeseriving of His greatness.


I feel something great is on the rise.

"Why didn't you tell me? I told you that if she were to come between us that you were supposed to tell me."

Well, I've learned that people are stubborn. Just because you hear that you are making a mistake doesn't mean that you will listen. You just have to learn it for yourself, and then maybe you'll learn. With all that aside, I'm glad you realized that we weren't hanging out as much and I'm glad that you have come back down to earth.

I've missed you, you make me laugh more than anyone else.
I feel better with you.

18.

I'm legal.

I had an amazing weekend.
YAY!