Dang...
God told me to listen at the beginning of this week. Which leads me to believe that opportunities are going to open up, and/or I'll get into something great. Which also opens doors for spiritual warfare. I've been told time and time again recently that when a person is going into the ministry field, that warfare really starts up- and hits hard. It has.
This morning I was having feelings of loneliness and felt like I wasn't even supposed to be at Greenville. Which is exactly what Satan would want. He wants me to leave so I can't accomplish these things. He wants to scare me out, and I was being scared out this morning. I was falling into these traps. It's not easy to fight- really. This calling is serious, and I'm going to have to battle with fear for a couple more years.
Then as I was talking to my mom this evening she said that our family has been hit hard this week too. Physically. Aunt Colleen- in the hospital. Uncle Jeff- hurt his back. Aunt Carol- hurt her back. Aunt Judy- tough head cold. Sister- high blood pressure. Mom- hurt her knee. Dad- hurt his knee. Aunt Christy- hurt her back.. They've all been struck with some sort of physical discomfort.
The missionaries also stressed that not only will the devil attack you- he'll attack your family as well.
That scared me, but mom said that they are binding it out, and it is releasing it's grip.
I spoke with a missionary with Wycliffe Bible Translators today at lunch and she was talking about what her job is. Her job is to work with college students and to study why college students aren't going into missions. Her result was fear. So she now works with college students to work through their fears.
God wants me to listen, and he's put her in my path.
Oh, side note- she also helped to make my major (Urban/cross cultural ministries) at Greenville when she went here.
She's perfect.
What is God wanting me to hear? What is He wanting me to do? I'm not so sure yet, but I'm not going to be scared and lose heart before something great happens. I feel it on the rise.
Just pray for me please.
Pray that I can shake this fear and listen for God.
I just dove into Proverbs tonight and this is what I found.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 2:1-5
"My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, So that you INCLINE YOUR EAR to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding: Yes if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
Proverbs 3:25-26
"Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; for the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught."
The first set of scripture spoke to me through "incline your ear". God told me to listen.
The second set of scripture really hits home this week with the spiritual warfare being present.
God is good. :D
You are awesome! Satan is no match for God or the Spirit built inside of you :)
ReplyDeleteEh, anywhere you are you will have feelings like you could be in the wrong place. Like I know I should be at Lewis and Clark but every now and then I get a feeling like I'm doing something wrong. Majors are hard too. All decisions are hard and worry-some.
ReplyDeleteIt most certainly IS the Devil. That sly old thing. You've dove into Christianity deeper than you ever have before, are one fire, are going to save lives that he's trying to destroy, and there is nothing he'd love better to do than destroy YOU instead.
ReplyDeleteI think the fact that you admit it's hard is important. A lot of people will say it's not because they're Christians who haven't opened up their lives to the honesty of what you have. It IS really hard, and you're doing awesome. All that matters is that you're doing your best and trying your hardest, you know?
You're blessed and you have God's blessing on your life. I'm proud of you. (:
P.S. I especially like Proverbs 3:25-26. <3
All decisions are worrisome and hard but right now it's hard for me.
ReplyDeleteIt's more of a "following God" mentality than just an everyday decision.
Thankyou for building me up because now is when I need it the most. Really.